Earthshine on the 5am Moon

I walked in an hour ago... (thinking of Staralfur)

45 hours before that, I was walking out of the Sacramento Int'l. Everything in between was gorgeous. The occasion was my brother's wedding, and it was quite magical. It was formal, and I do mean Country Club, Italian, hired string quartet, Pachelbel's Canon, servers, loads of champagne and H'orderves.... dancing.

Possibly the most amazing aspect was the family and friends who gathered, and I was finally able to meet, especially the bride. She was stunning and sweet, Princess Leia-esque (literally), and I'm very happy they had the big day, after this was a blossoming love for over 20+ years since childhood.

Still, I will never be able to see the occasion in the eyes of the many connected souls whom I was able to meet, all who know my brother and the family much more extensively. But, I look forward to a better understanding of the lives leading up to Saturday night.

I think the ultimate concept I learned, and believe after this experience, is that biology is arbitrary. It is thanks to Mr. Ray's speech (brother's father) and speaking with him before leaving, that I understood every moment worth living from his eyes. My brother is truly blessed, and those who have been close to him for these 35 years are blessed equally.

So I missed 23 years of knowing my brother's world, yet the future experience still awaits, and it is the experience that counts.... unforgettable.

Shortly before falling into slumber last night my heart beat red. Full of love, but love to go no where. I seriously felt that I needed someone to hold my beating heart in comfort. In the moment, I needed someone who understood simple things: that I could supply her more sunset strolls than dinners out; that I could never purchase her sunglasses lest I not be able to see into her eyes; and that those eyes could hold my stare in second-spans that rival an eternity of bliss.

Lost am I who stares into this woman's eyes, but lost am I who has yet to find her.
xry